Existential Question: Would Homer Simpson Make a Good Barber?

Homer Simpson the Barber?
He can eat but can he cut?

Homer Simpson of The Simpsons is best known for being Bart Simpson’s father, but he has a life of his own beyond that. It’s fun to imagine whether or not he would make a good barber, although he hasn’t shown any signs of wanting to explore that career.
The closest Homer has come to barbering is being the lead singer and songwriter for the barber shop quartet “The Be Sharps.” But there might be some evidence that could help determine whether or not Homer would enjoy a career change.

Homer’s Artistic Leanings

Homer doesn’t really have many artistic leanings, although he did rise to fame in that barbershop quartet (see the video at the bottom of this post) for a short period of time. Part of being a barber involves using artistic skills and abilities to help clients look their best, and Homer isn’t able to bring much to the plate from that angle.
He’s also not extremely precision oriented, as his job at the local nuclear plant shows. Along with professional artistry, as a barber, Homer would need to be able to make precise cuts with some powerful barber tools. (And definitely forget about being a barber in the old days when they were surgeons as well!)

On the other hand, Homer does show himself to be a bit of a savant in unexpected areas. That barbershop quartet of his was pretty successful, after all, and that involves a bit of artistry. He’s also able to pick up languages seemingly effortlessly, and that skill shows that he might be able to pick up other skills if he were to put his mind to the task. Homer could manage to learn what he needed to in order to become a great barber, but there are other factors to consider.

Homer’s Self-Motivation

Homer hasn’t shown himself to be incredibly self-motivated – an especially big problem if you want to open your own barbershop. Sure, he gets ideas here and there about the next great job or career he can try, but he always goes back to the nuclear plant. First, because he’s comfortable there and he doesn’t have to do much or put forth much effort. But secondly, and possibly more importantly, they have an unlimited supply of doughnuts for him.

Homer’s self-motivation, such as it is, is pretty short lived. As a barber, he would have to be extremely self-motivated since it would be his own business. Barbers, whether they work for an owner of a barbershop or as a free agent, must drum up their own business, which is something Homer would have a tough time doing consistently.He would dearly love the capability of taking time off whenever he wanted, but he might take advantage of that too much, preferring instead to hang out on the couch, soak up some television, and drink a few beers.

Homer’s Social Skills

Barbers do need to be able to socialize with others, and Homer has quite a few friends and associates around Springfield. He’s a regular at the local watering hole, and he frequently ends up involved in the lives of residents of the town. Barbers find themselves in situations where they need to be able to make small talk, and Homer does exhibit that ability. He would likely be able to make small talk easily with anybody who ended up in his chair.

Homer doesn’t have a lot of patience, however. When people don’t know what they want, he can tend to get pretty frustrated. He also doesn’t have a lot of patience with those who aren’t doing what he wants them to do. He even throttles his own son pretty regularly. As a barber, Homer would frequently come into contact with people who think they know what they want, but really don’t. They might describe the haircut that they want badly, or dislike how it looks once he’s finished. Homer’s ability to become easily frustrated might not pay off all that well were he to become a barber.

Would you make a good barber? Interested in finding schools?…

Homer probably wouldn’t become a barber on his own anytime soon, but it’s interesting to note that he does have some skills that could come in handy. If he really put his mind to it, Homer might make a decent barber. He’d have to stick to it, and he would have to really discipline himself. Who knows, with the right training, Homer might just discover that becoming a barber is what he’s been looking to do with his life for years.